Last friday our reporters were witness to a gruesome attack on Microsoft headquarters.

The alleged ‘mad bomber’ alien-mutant-info-junkie was spotted on closed circuit tv camera’s entering the building and demanding an audience with Bill. When this was refused, he took out of his coat a suspicious package and laid it on the front desk. From yet another pocket he took something resembling a remote control.

Security guards arriving at the scene heard him screaming something about a ‘magneto-psionic-bomb’ that would wipe all computer data in a radius of 50 miles without any detectable damage to humans.

Before he could activate the device (which contained a small nuclear detonatator) he was overpowered by the guards.

During the struggle he managed to escape, but not before losing some clothes and revealing a hideously deformed body. Our investigative reporters pursued the fugitive in a high speed helicopter chase into the woods where one of our photographers managed to capture him on film before being knocked unconscious by the lizzard-like mutant.

Updates will follow, so stay tuned to this channel —